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Sunday, April 29, 2012

Singing the Black and Blues

When I dipped my toes into the spanking world, rather, when I dove head first into the spanking world, I was extra cautious. When calling people, I blocked my number (I first even considered using a pay phone, but where the heck do you find one of those?), looked for people who didn't live in my neighborhood, used a pseudonym to sign my emails, etc. But even being careful, it's not difficult to stumble into the lion's den.

I don't want to get into the gory details, but let's just say I had an unpleasant experience. To summarize, I went into a discipline session (never having experienced it) and came out feeling lost and vulnerable. I had an entire day to mull it over by myself. Where did things go wrong? I had no answers, as I had no experience. Luckily I had people to reach out to and I'll forever be grateful for that.

I had a spank date set up for two days after The Incident with the Englishman. I was worried all the unpleasantness would prevent me from enjoying future spankings, especially with him. He immediately gave me a big hug and we sat and talked as he held me. I felt safe in his arms and knew things would fine. He told me it was in times like these that he wished he knew that he was my only spanker. I told him all he had to do was ask.

The rest of the session was surreal. Time seemed to slow down and yet, at the same time the hour and a half we had together was gone within seconds.

Session Notes:
Implements added: plastic spatula, belt (from the bad experience), riding crop, leather flogger (well, the first time was at RenFaire, but this was the first time bare bottomed. He went easy with it and I couldn't help but giggle as it felt like I was going through a car wash).

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Blogging about flogging

I recently commented on Secret Spanko's blog in regards to mixing alcohol and spankings: "...All that being said, I'm almost certain that I will mix the two in some degree or another in the future."

That opportunity came MUCH sooner than expected!

My friends and I celebrated two of their birthdays by attending the Renaissance Faire. For those of you who have never been, the Renaissance Faire celebrates the period of time in which it's named after. It's actually quite educational. I remember attending it in high school and we learned how to make leather pouches, play a version of baseball that would have been played at the time and learned to speak some of their dialect. However, the purpose of our trip could be summarized as an excuse to have our breasts spill out of our corsets while drinking beer. And lots of it.

I secretly went in with the mission of finding a wooden hair brush (I was told by Glasses that my hairbrush was actually a fake wood and hallow which is what made it so loud) and possibly a paddle. While there were lots of woodcrafts, I didn't quite find what I was looking for. I did stumble into a booth where a lady was flogging another lady. Surprising even myself, I ran up to her and asked her if she was giving away floggings. She told me she does it professionally and was only trying out the equipment. She would gladly give me a flogging but the shop keeper only offered one trial to her. I was quite disappointed!

My friends and I spent the rest of the day talking to interesting people and trying to find a paddle. As the day came to a close we left without any luck. It was sad to not have left with a special souvenir, but it was a fun day anyways. As we were waiting for our designated driver outside the gates, my friend suddenly ran up to someone. All of a sudden the crowd parted and I see her pointing at me. I see the man she's standing next to is holding a leather flogger. Gasp! There's another layer of excitement since a crowd has started gathering. At least in the shop it would have been a semi-private affair! At this point there's no going back and in front of all those people I put my hands on my knees and bend over. My long skirt stays down (I'm not THAT brave!) as he warms me up by lightly rubbing my bottom with his hands and then brushing it with the flogger. He starts to count down and then he whips the flogger. Thud. Ahhh.... Lovely! He only gives me two more before the crowd breaks out into a cheer. He took that as his cue that we were done. I went up to my flogger and gave him a hug and whispered, "Next time it'll be bare-bottomed" with a wink. He then told me he admired my "cushion" (is that what they called it back then, or was that his term? They always seem to stay in character) and told me he'd give me one for the road. I eagerly bent right over and I get the taste of one last sting.

I only had four swats to enjoy, but I would have loved more. I began to wonder how much more extreme would I be willing to go? Possibly caning? I used to scuba dive and it would always bother me to be diving with those I called "depth whores". These were the divers that would go out for the sake of bragging how deep they could dive. I personally found whether diving at 30 ft or 130 ft you saw much of the same sights, but you ran out of air much faster at 130ft. But these "depth whores" found pleasure in the extremes. I kind of felt like getting a taste of that flogger got me thinking of various implements and perhaps I was thinking more like an "implement whore" instead of enjoying the sights. I still love a good open-handed spanking over a man's lap, and perhaps I should refocus on enjoying the quality of the experience instead of chasing the extremes.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Balancing Act

It's hard to believe it's only been a day since I've been spanked by the Englishman. I feel like it's been days. I've been replaying ithe session over and over on a constant loop in my head. I can't even spank-and-tell this one... It was so intimate without any "actual" intimacy. There were long moments where I completely lost time. I still don't really know what to make of the whole thing. On paper, it should never have happened. Several unforeseen circumstances (including a nasty cold) should have prompted me to cancel, but something told me this had to happen.

In processing my thoughts, I sent my spanker this e-mail:

*****

Some people go through a midlife crisis at some point in their lives. I have gone through several existential crises throughout mine- each time resulting in a major life decision that would alter the course of my life.  After existential crises #2 or #3, I contemplated whether or not there was any meaning to life, and perhaps we just...are.  If that's the case, perhaps those that live life fast and hard had it right- letting hedonism lead the way to excess and pleasure.  However, that didn't seem right either, since anytime I engage in too much of anything I never feel good. Hangovers, lethargy, moodiness even guilt plague me after pleasure benders.  I suppose true happiness if found in balance.  In all my years I don't think I've ever managed to feel balanced. I've been constantly playing around with the ratios between family, work, friends, myself, etc.  But after Tuesday, that fateful Tuesday, I came out feeling as if everything was balanced. I've been denying this part of my life and perhaps it's simply the missing link.

Or, maybe it was a fluke. I don't want to put too much pressure on anything.

And, I'm feeling worse than ever, so it could be God's wrath against my sins. Either way.

I'll be thinking about you while watching Idol tonight... Can't wait to discuss it among other things :)

*****

Yes, after the session we went for a cup of tea and ended up talking for an hour. We debriefed a bit and also talked about American Idol. Heh.

P.S. I can add leather paddle to my growing list to implements that I've been spanked with ;)

Monday, April 23, 2012

Hit and Run

After (over)thinking my first experience, I needed to turn it around and do something...reckless. I emailed Glasses to see if he'd be up for a quickie spanking.  With the spirit of a teenager, I suggested we meet that night in a secluded parking lot. He agreed!  After a night out celebrating a friend's birthday, I met him in the agreed upon lot.  Something like this would never have happened in my "real" life! What am I thinking? I'm completely giving in to my id, that's what!

Comparing our cars, it seemed that my car had the larger back seat. I followed him into the back seat. He motioned me over and I crawled across his now familiar lap. Ahh. It felt like home. He lifted up he back of my dress. He rubbed his hand under my panties and over my bottom. I lifted my hips to cue his next move. I could almost feel the moonlight as it hit my exposed bottom. He took his time to warm me up. The spanking was wonderful. I raised my bottom to meet his hand and this allowed him to catch the top of my thighs. The sting was welcomed. He really laid it onto me for the finale, so much so my right breast had popped out if my dress. I quickly tucked her in before turning around and laying on his chest. His heavy breathing slowed. He kissed the top of my head and we both went our merry ways.

I could get used to this.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

In Retrospank

A couple notes:

There were definitely somethings I learned about my needs as a spankee after my first experience:

1. As a spankee, I'm offering up my bottom to my spanker. That takes a lot of trust. In turn, a little chivalry goes a long way! No matter how short we were on time, a proper warm up should have been given. I feel like he put his needs before mine- in the moment it illustrated to me a lack of care, which is inconsistent with my m.o.

2. I'm not so much into the corner-time thing. However, my inherent need to please my spanker doesn't allow for me to just "take" what I need without "giving" what he wants. Does this make us an improper match? Maybe I need to ask less questions next time, or finding a play partner could prove to be challenging.

3. I might need to separate the spanker from the person he is. I'm not dating this person, nor do I plan on it. So why did it bother me that he was drinking a BigGulp of soda afterwards? I guess I just didn't want to think that the guy that just spanked me is the same guy that went into a 7-11 to get a giant drink of diabetes. It seem a bit douche-baggy to me, but why should I care at all? I'm being a bit of a dbag myself for being so judgy.

This whole experience is a real eyeopener, and I look forward to learning even more.

Like a Virgin, Spanked for the Very First Time

I met the Englishman for coffee. I was a bit worried when he mentioned he only stood at 5'6", but after meeting him I decided height didn't matter as much as I would have thought. He pointed out that hanging behind me was a frat style paddle! A sign? Perhaps.

The conversation was great-it was much more like meeting with a friend than sitting for an interview. His accent lures me in. Drool. Of course with my luck, a couple I know walks in. Ugh. Heart. In. Stomach. Why? Why? Why? I play it cool and they never approach my table. Until they leave I can only ask myself, "What possible story can i come up with to explain this?". Could I just say with so much exaggeration, "Yeah, J, I put an ad up online, met a guy 20 years older than me and now we're having coffee. (eye roll) That's exactly what's going on." that she would think it impossible? I wouldn't. I couldn't.

We spoke until his meter ran out an hour and a half later. I then went to get spanked.

I was originally supposed to meet with Glasses on Thursday. Yesterday morning I woke up with a note in my inbox saying that some time had opened up. It worked for me, but I felt a bit like a spankSlut. We've had a lot of trouble getting together so I jumped at the opportunity.

So we got to his place and there was definitely that awkward, "So what do you want to do? I dunno, what do you wanna do?". We decided to get straight to it since we had limited time. The newbiness in me showed when I first got onto his lap in the wrong direction. So I finally drape myself in the right direction. He asks if I'm ready, and I say that I am. He prompts a, "Yes, sir" (note to self). So we begin. All my anticipation is about to come to fruition. Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack.... Huh? What just happened? How did my panties find their way down? Is this the warm up? Yikes! This isn't nearly as sexy as I was thinking it would be. The hairbrush comes out and things get better. The familiar sting feels great. The slower pace allows time for me to flinch in anticipation. But it's too loud and he tucks it away. Back to the spanking. About 15 minutes later he puts me in the corner with my bum exposed until he's ready.

When I'm dismissed I make a beeline for his floor length mirror. Ahhhh.... That color is a shade of pink I was never able to achieve on my own. My whole rear is glowing and radiating heat. I'm hypnotized by the sight and can't stop feeling the warmth. He calls me back and has me lay on my tummy as he lays cool washcloths over me.

After my fifth or sixth time checking my glowing bum he asked if I'd like some more. This time I crawl arose this lap and lay on the couch. This time he takes his time spanking me. He tells me he could do this for hours, and I want to take him up on that challenge, but there's no time. It's delicious and I squirm with delight as he spanks me. If he continued to do so, I'm pretty sure he could spank me into an orgasm. Our time is up. I check my bottom in the mirror one more time before I go.

The rest of the day I'm aware of how by bottom feels- how it feels when I sit on the cool leather seats of my car. How it must look if the cool breeze swept my dress up just enough for someone to see my secret.


Saturday, April 14, 2012

Getting to Know You

I met Glasses for coffee last night. Ironically, he had tea and I opted to pass on drinking anything since I was going to meet some girlfriends for dinner and a movie half and hour later.  I arrived right on time and He was already seated at an outside table. He was easy to spot since he looked just like his picture.  I waved on my way over to him and was relieved he didn't look disappointed.  Overall he seemed like a nice guy.  

He had a lot of things going for him:

1. Discreet- he's engaged and is an executive of some sort. We'd both have a lot to lose if we were exposed.
2. Light on the implements- he uses mostly his hand, but will use paddles, hair brushes, spoons and belts. No canes.
3. Space- he has a space available to use for play. This seems to be a constant hurdle with secret spankos.

Cons:

1. Really into the discipline aspect of spanking. Not a bad thing, but it might limit my experience. He mentioned in the past he's used corner time (eh) and writing a specific sentence a million times. Not a deal breaker.

2. For him, spanking is not a sexual experience at all. I think my jaw dropped when he said this. I'm trying to be open minded and accepting, but a large part of my kink is exciting my partner.

He walked me to my car and asked if he could check out the merchandise. I complied and was tempted to offer my backseat. Unfortunately I chose the closest spot to the coffee shop since I was in heels, otherwise we might have had enough privacy. We made a date to rendezvous later this month when his fiancé will be out of town.

I have a coffee date with the Englishman this Tuesday. My impression is that he and I are more on the same wavelength, but i'll know for sure after we meet in person.

And what happened to guy #3? I let him know I was no longer interested and since then he has sent several passive aggressive emails. Geez, if there was any way to convince me, I'm sure trying to manipulate me into letting you spank me is the most efficient. Glad I dodged that bullet.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

It's been...one week since you looked at me

It's been one week since I've started looking for a spanker. As I delve deeper into the process, I'm finding more and more about what I'm looking for (How appropriate is it that the title of this post comes from a song by the Barenaked Ladies?).

When corresponding with people it's only natural to want to know what they look like. However, that's just not the case with me. During my email exchanges I never ask for a photo and refuse to send one when requested. Inevitably I'll open my inbox to find a picture.

Men, I will be honest with you. If we're gearing up to meet for coffee, no matter what you look like, you'll always look like a serial killer to me. Until my gut can check you out in person, I'll always be a bit weary. If you're handsome, you're using your good looks to lure me in and then chop me into a hundred pieces. If you're hideous, you're probably sending me a handsome pic to lure me in and then chop me into a hundred pieces. And in turn, when getting spanked, all of you will look like Don Draper to me (am I wrong, ladies?!). Yum.

In all seriousness, I'm unsure how much looks matter to me. There is a wide range of what's acceptable. That's also true of age.

Initially on SpankFinder.com I only got responses from men between 50-68. I'm still unsure where my upper age range gets cut off...I'm guessing it will come down to the person, but I was thinking around 50. The other day I got a message from a 27 year old. Instantly I knew I wasn't interested and I'm not sure why! Even if he was tall and could handle me, I just have trouble imagining submitting to someone...younger than me (just typing that makes me vomit a little bit. I can't believe 27 is younger than me! How did that happen?!). It just goes to show to me that I'm either going to have to get comfortable with becoming a MILF, or my days getting spanked are numbered.

So far I have a couple potential spankers:
1. 44/m, lives in my area, engaged, wears glasses (another fetish if mine. I love an intelligent man, and what more iconic than a pair Buddy Holly frames? Yum).

2. 50/m Englishman, lives in my area, married. I find accents to be such panty-melters (and not just British accents ;) you know who you are...yes, I'm talking about you!) The only problem is neither one of us can host. We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

3. 58/m, lives two hours away. This guy was one of the first to reach out. He's seems like a really nice guy, but the distance and his personal fantasies sort of rule him out. I feel a bit obligated since he's answered so many of my questions, but in reality, this probably won't happen.

I'm meeting number 1 for coffee later today. Knowing that I have obligations immediately afterwards is comforting since there won't be any pressure or temptation to do anything else.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Batter up!

I feel a mild amount of pressure writing my first blog entry. After getting sucked into the spanking blogosphere, I came across one of my favorites, SecretSpanko. As a fellow SS I find myself getting lost in my own thoughts with no one to talk to or to use as a sounding board. This has created a huge amount of tension and so, here I am, spewing upon your monitors.

So why Flipping SpankCakes? Ever since I've been sexually active, I've known spanking to be a huge turn on. I have other subtle fetishes, but they all seem to point back to spanking. Past and current lovers have all indulged me, but they never were true spankos. Some even went to the extent of shaming me for it, and not in a good way. Frankly, much of my enjoyment comes from exciting my partner, and if he's just going through the motions he mind as well not be spanking me at all.

All these years I've buried this fetish, telling myself I don't need it to be satisfied. All of that is going to "flip". Why now?

I've lived a fairly vanilla lifestyle since getting married. It didn't bother me that much to have a mediocre sex life. Life got busy. I can't say if it was a combination of my age or where I am in my life, but in the last two years my libido has exponentially increased. I brought up spanking with my spouse and there were half-hearted attempts that usually went something like "smack smack smack, ok, time to stick it in". Sexy. Yeah right. This goes very much along the lines of ruining a load of laundry and then me saying, "Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it from now on".

So I suppose I'm not that much of a SS, as my husband is quite aware of my fetish. After several failed attempts I even asked my husband if he would mind if I took up a spanking partner. It was a no-go for him. I suggested seeing a sex therapist (friends of mine had much success) and he came up with a list if excuses not to. So a year goes by, during which I explore the spanking literotica out there. Yum. A couples months ago my hormones went into overdrive (my theory is that I'm in my prime childbearing years) and for one week each month I have an absolute and insatiable need for cock. Seriously, I would fantasize about any man, and I mean ANY man I came across. I'm guessing it's a similar experience to what 16 year old males go through. Then I realized, it's not cock that I needed, after all I have one if those at home. What I needed was a warm lap and a firm hand. And hence, my search for a spanker began.

So here I am, SpankCake, a spanking virgin, waiting for my cherry to be popped. Batter up!