It's been five days since my last spanking and I think I'm starting to forget what the Englishman looks like.
Perhaps it's the constant reliving of romanticized versions of our experience or the fantasies that swirl inside my head as my mind drifts off, but without being connected to him in any sort of real way I find the real him fading. I only see him for 3.5 hours a week, and half of that time is staring at his leather shoes. I haven't heard from him since Saturday, but even that seems like an eternity. Since when has not hearing back from a boy completely reduced me to a school girl waiting by the phone? I sit here and molest my refresh button hoping for new email, hating myself for becoming so crazy about one person. My routine consists of refreshing my browser a couple times, telling myself this is stupid and if I just waited a day to bother checking I wouldn't become so obsessed and then abruptly closing out my window only to do it all over again in 10 minutes. It makes it no better to be so connected via smart phone... oh, I think I'll check before I head into the grocery store... might as well check when I get back! Ugh... I've become a slave and I need to be freed.
My natural urge is to find another plaything, keep my body and mind busy. The urge is especially strong over the weekend when I receive the least amount of attention from him, and when I need it the most. I resist those urges as I know that will be the sure nail that drives him away... I'm certain he can forgive and overlook many of my flaws, but seeing the marks of another man on my bottom won't earn me the spanking I crave, only the maddening silence of an empty inbox.
I know that I'll have to hear from him today, as we're planning on going cane shopping tomorrow. Plans must be made, and I refuse to inquire about them before I hear back from him first. Until then, I will keep my mind as busy as I can, wondering what does a girl wear cane shopping? I assume there will be a degree of public product testing... I'm leaning towards jeans of some sort, as cane-on-skin contact seems... unhygenic, to say the least.
You're a very kinky girl and I so identify with you! I love it!!!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Kitty
P.S. I'm the same way, always checking my inbox when I want to hear from someone.
Sisters from another mister, Kitty! There's a kinky girl that lies in all of us ladies ;)
Deletexo,
SC
It's hard to think back to before the Internet and mobile phones. What did we do???? Lol. Hope your cane shopping goes well :)
ReplyDeleteDee x
Hi Dee!
DeleteI'll definitely post a shopping report... seriously, how can I not love combining two loves- spanking and shopping?
I have to agree with Dee, what on earth did we do before the internet and smart phones. Cane shopping mmmmmmm, good luck.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ronnie
xx
Ronnie, I figure it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission in this case! Oh what I do in the name of science :)
Deletexo,
SC
You are the most intriguing combination of honest, practical, straight forward batshit kink.
ReplyDeleteProduct testing. Lawdy lawdy.
I agree. I am tempted sometimes to put the laptop and the phone in the microwave on high and lead an untethered life. But then what would I do?
:)E
Emen,
DeleteI need a t-shirt with that line on it! *love*!
I think if you were to combine your laptop and phone in the microwave some sort of super-computer would arrise. Have you learned nothing from comic books?!
xo,
SC
Now there is an indelible image -- molesting your refresh button. :-)
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Top Fixation. It's a common syndrome amongst us spankees. Considering that special, complicated and intimate bond we share with them, I'd say that makes us (gasp) normal.
Mmmm.... Top Fixation... glad to be afflicted!
Deletexo,
SC